I am the God of Hellfire
Most people who know me now, didn’t know me ten years ago, but believe me when I tell you I was one of the evilest motherfuckers that ever lived [‘T’ will back me up on this] I would pick a fight just to hear you scream, and then laugh in your face. But those days are long gone, I’ve embraced the ‘zen’ of life and now very little bothers me [except having to rewire home theater systems]
Occasionally I wake up on the wrong side of the bed, and a bit of the old saul peeks through, I usually lock myself in my studio on those days [like today] and I play music very loud.
today [being one of those days] prompted a call from a neighbor [transcript follows]
N: Saul are you deaf?
S: Huh?…Why?.. Who is this?
H: It’s [name omitted to protect the victim] I can hear that music from my bedroom
S: So?… I’m taking requests…
N: My Fillings are loosening, my pictures are falling off the wall… my dog is Sterile..for the love of God turn that down.
S: Did you say turn it up? cause it’s only at half volume right now.
N: Please don’t turn it up.. I have milk in the fridge that will sour.
S: You think?… I bet I can make it rain if I turn it all the way up..
N: Your not going to turn it down are you?
S: Not even if god himself appeared in front of me in the form of Lucy Lui and begged me to turn it down so we could make love in peace
N: Huh?..are you high? [I don’t condone recreational drug use, but I do love this question] … well if you’re not going to turn it down, do you have anything by Dylan?
S: What do you have against the theme from ‘Sesame Street’
Sunny Day …Sweepin’ the clouds away
[evil laugh…fade out]
Post Note:
This content originally aired Friday, September 26th, 2003 at isaul.com my now defunct personal blog, some of these posts document my former cruel side, rest assured I've aged and I've mellowed -- these posts are maintained here for their humor and anthropological value.