The other day I stopped in a ‘fancy-pants-bed’ place that features beds with air bladders in them so you can make the bed as soft or as hard as you like, the left and right side are adjustable independently, so you needn’ suffer through the ‘goldlocks’ syndrome just because of your bedmates preference.
I laid myself out on this bed picked up the remote control and started pushing away…25-35-45 — all seemed the same to me — 50-55-60-65 okay now we’re cooking, the bed seems kinda firmer, hard even, so the salesman comes over “blah, blah, blah…digital…normal people’s sleep number is usually between 15 & 35…blah, blah, blah”
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Yesterday for lunch I stopped at a local pizza joint for a couple of slices and a diet cola, I bought 3 slices, and told the guy that he need’nt heat them up, because I wasn’t going to eat them for ‘hours’, he put them on a paper plate and asked me…
“you need a bag?,” now there was no snappy retort, or abusive conversation I stop in this place fairly often and any form of abuse is just going to yeild me saliva on my edibles..so i chilled, at least verbally, I stared at him and nervously smiled, hadn’t I said I wasn’t eating them for hours? did he honestly think I was going to walk around with loose cold pizza on a ‘less than quality paper plate’, The whole exchange up to this point was very awkward, but wait..it got better.
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Funny, my previous post was a bit more ‘sadistic’, and I’ve gotten several comments that folks miss the more acerbic saul, the meaner saul, the saul that makes unsuspecting salesmen and ignorant cashiers cry.. well for ya’ll… this post is for you.
My phone has been ringing off the hook today, it’s mostly project related, but as I was drinking my loc-cal, low-carb, high-fiber, low-fat, high-fructose, medium-sodium partially homogonized somewhat carbonized coffee beverage, the phone rang, my caller-id let me know the call was from those oh-so helpful people at ‘WindowWizards’, usually I would ignore such a blatant sales call, but I happen to be in the market for replacement windows, so I picked the call up.
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So yesterday ‘T’ and myself went and had our eyes checked and purchased new glasses,
I elected to get a pair of black wireframe, and a pair of geek chic black plastic, someone should really let calvin klein know that the dot com boom is over, because 250 bucks for two hinges and some molded plastic is insane, or perhaps it’s me that’s insane for paying it.. but I have large eyes and a apple shaped head and most frames look stupid on me, the frames plus my 300+ dollar lenses [the hubble telescope has weaker lenses] put me over 900 bucks for two pairs of glasses. I can’t help but wonder what I would do if I couldn’t afford that [Not that i can, mind you..but really if I couldn’t afford even the lenses, what do people do? does public assistance pay for optical care? and to what point?
dream sequence coming:
“Mister Rosenbaum, with your optical coverage we can only adjust your vision to 20/75 and only in one eye, So you can forget about that fancy-pants graphics career”
dream sequence concluded …
The absolute worst part of buying glasses is that of course while your trying on the frames you can’t see yourself in the mirror [at least I can’t being nearsighted] So your forced to trust your shopping companion, or your at the mercy of the glasses people, and if that’s the case I can only assume you’ll ALWAYS look better in the 250 dollar frames… sigh, I hate spending money, I’m just so darn good at it.
‘T’ bought a really hot pair of librarianesqe ‘cat’ glasses, she usually only wears her glasses at night after her contacts come out, but she looked so very delectable in these frames I wouldn’t mind if she wore them full-time.
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