saulrosenbaum.com / 2004 / August

Well, as I often do, I found myself at IKEA again today, but not my normal IKEA, but a brand spanking new one, 6 miles closer to my house. It was crowded, I was alone, it was raining, a recipe for disaster to be certain.

So while shopping, I noticed, this was NOT the typical ‘flesh’ show that I was used to, 20 something females in inappropriatly short tight and revealing garb, showing off tanned, toned and chiseled flesh, no this was 30, and sometimes 40 somthings showing me… Truth be told there are no words for what they where showing.

So it got me thinking, Do these women not own a mirror? or perhaps they think they look good? you would think that their tattoo artist Read More »

I’m slowly turning into Elvis, even though I’m aware of it, the process seems to be beyond my control, the similarities are, well …similar;

Both Elvis and I are male, we both have sideburns (although diferently styled), we both have weight issues and are fond of white velvet jumpsuits and large diamond encrusted belts with our names on it.(although to be fair although mine does say ‘Elvis’, I don’t recall ever seeing Elvis wearing a ‘Saul’ belt, but who knows really, it may have been one of those things he did in the privacy of Graceland).

I know what your thinking, saul based on that pittance of similarities, you could just be turning into an Elvis impersonator, and not actually ‘The King’ himself.. But wait, there’s more, Elvis was very fond of his mamma, and although I’ve never actually met Mrs. Presley, I feel I too would be partial to her… Elvis breathed in oxygen, I also breath in oxygen (and obviously at a higher frequency than ‘current’ Elvis), we both exhale carbon dioxide.. Startling isn’t it…

The similarities are far from over, later in life Elvis consumed a steady diet of Valium, Ethinamate, Dilaudid, Demerol, Percodan, Placidyl, Dexedrine, Biphetamine, Amytal, Quaalude, Carbrital, Cocaine hydrochloride and Ritalin. I LIVE right near a CVS Pharmacy..creepy huh.

I’m not really sure when the transformation will be complete… stay tuned