Monkey, Monkey, Monkey

Three weeks ago, at the local Wawa, I dis­cov­ered that the folks who make Red-Bull, released a sug­ar-free ver­sion. Now I’ve nev­er been a huge Red-Bull fan, but sug­ar-free Red-Bull sound­ed like the ‘sirens song’ to me.. so I bought a can.

Now a few weeks lat­er, I feel that the Wawa cashier should have giv­en me my first taste for free… need­less to say I’m hooked, Caf­feine addic­tion isn’t any­thing par­tic­u­lar­ly new to me, but it is a mon­key that I’ve beat­en off my back more than a few times. When I was dot-com­ing, I could con­sume a twen­ty-four pack of Diet Coke in a sin­gle day, The <em>‘lift’</em> I was get­ting from all that soda doesn’t even com­pare to the <em>‘kick’</em> I’m now get­ting from a sin­gle SFRB, that being the case, log­ic would sug­gest that I’m not deal­ing with com­mon caf­feine, but some type of ‘<em>uber</em>-caffeine’, chem­i­cal­ly altered to not only increase kick, but to increase the addi­tive nature as well. My mon­key was now stronger and more effi­cient.

Some­thing so strong, so new, so addic­tive, you’d think that they’d be sell­ing it on every street cor­ner, but that isn’t the case, my SFRB is a <em>‘boutique beverage’</em>, a <em>‘designer drink’,</em> and only avail­able in a select few places. I have a map, and some col­ored pins… and I think every­thing is going to be okay…

Hel­lo, my name is Saul…