Daily List for: 0/9./03.15

  • Com­mut­ing can kill you, but trol­ley tracks will just maul you
  • I nev­er see the Oscar Mey­er Wein­er mobile, but I did get flashed on the sub­way the oth­er day, so I assume that counts
  • Fact one: I asso­ciate peo­ple to songs, and songs to events
  • Fact two: I only like you for your pets
  • Your awk­ward­ness is what I love about you
  • Social­ly accept­able voyeurism is the new niel­son fam­i­ly
  • Almost every­day I reach a point where I have to pur­pose­ful­ly stop talk­ing
  • Your kid is fine, it’s you that’s a mess, your kid is a kid, you have no excuse
  • I’d hate to use the tub after Bey­once
  • If the secret to longevi­ty is laugh­ter and sar­casm you bet­ter buck­le in, it’s going to be a long list
  • Snark is the new sweet noth­ings