Daily List for: 5/4/2015

  • Annoy­ance is not exclu­sive­ly a human emo­tion, I type this as an annoyed cat won­ders why I’m not pet­ting her
  • Com­men­tat­ing ruins sports even more than sports ruins sports
  • I’ve decid­ed to get the word ‘NO!’ tattoo’d on the back of my left hand, at least then I’d have a con­stant reminder that the word exists
  • I read that week­night bowl­ing leagues are the new ‘swing­ing’ meet­ing place, like I’d jump in bed with any­one who would wear rent­ed shoes..eww
  • I have an idea for a ‘Crim­i­nal Minds’ drink­ing game, every time they use the word ‘unsub’ you turn the TV off and go get a drink
  • Trust me, said no one you actu­al­ly should
  • If you told me you were unhap­py I could have done some­thing about it, but you silence said noth­ing
  • I don’t need assis­tance, I’m just pro­cras­ti­nat­ing for a while and lat­er I’ll spend the day regret­ting it
  • If I didn’t beat myself up about every­thing what would I do with my days?
  • A pint of ice cream can be a sin­gle serv­ing with the prop­er spoon and the right moti­va­tion