Daily List for: 3/5/2015

  • There should be a sign in every tat­too par­lor remind­ing peo­ple that skin ages but a bad deci­sion is eter­nal
  • Don’t com­plain about some­thing unless you’re will­ing to do some­thing about it
  • The only thing that should be wrapped around a piz­za crust is the per­son eat­ing it
  • Next time you order a drink in a bar, just for grins ask the bar­tender “is this the best kind of ice for this drink?” see what they say
  • Just because I’m not look­ing at you while you’re talk­ing to me doesn’t mean I don’t care what you’re say­ing, it might mean you have spinach in your teeth
  • I saw some­one take a bag of apples back to the mar­ket, her com­plaint ‘These just don’t taste app­ley enough’, it’s NEVER occurred to me to do this; using that approach,
     — ‘I’d like to return this half eat­en hoho, it wasn’t as ho(ish?) as the first half
     — ‘I’d like to return this cook­ing spray, I actu­al­ly DO believe it’s not but­ter’

Daily List for: 3/3/2015

  • Nev­er stop fail­ing
  • Make a list, do it in ink
  • Pour your­self a big glass of hap­pi­ness, make mine a dou­ble
  • Obses­sions are con­ta­gious
  • Stop com­plain­ing about things you can’t con­trol
  • Let it ride, Press it, Go all in
  • Be Spicy

Daily List for: 3/2/2015

  • Choco­late gen­er­al­ly helps
  • Brunettes are still the new sexy
  • Casu­al con­fi­dence is always in style
  • Every now and then a watched pot will boil, but only while you’re on the phone
  • Be the water… skip the rock
  • That spot where your neck becomes your shoulder…mmmm, I love that spot
  • Dip, dip, squeeze… And that’s how you make tea!
  • Chip­ping away at the lit­tle things, that’s how you move moun­tains

Daily List for: 2/9/2015

  • There is such a thing as too much data, I now gave quan­tifi­able proof I sleep like a caf­feinat­ed 3 year old
  • Some of us are the worst of us, even on our best days
  • I’ll hold your hand and we can sing as we walk though the fire togeth­er
  • Ground­hogs don’t have heat­ing bills
  • Mus­cle guys at the gym speak their own grunt and nod lan­guage
  • We can change every­thing but our his­to­ry, all we can do with that is learn from it
  • Some­times south of the equa­tor is were all the fun hap­pens
  • Friends let friends get awk­ward, and then embrace it
  • Songs are my mile­stones, fla­vors my sou­venirs, pho­tos my lega­cy
  • Time will not erase our impact
  • Amaz­ing peo­ple are every­where, but as a soci­ety we seem to fix­ate and glam­or­ize the worst of us
  • Do boats expe­ri­ence pier pres­sure
  • Lust is the acai berry
  • The light in your eyes excites my mind and inflames my body
  • We are my gal­van­ic responce

Daily List for: 2/13/2015

  • Not every­thing is as real as it seems
  • Both mir­rors and scales lie on a reg­u­lar basis
  • Pla­ton­ic is this years sym­bi­ot­ic
  • Com­mu­ni­ca­tion unlocks all but the most locked rela­tion­ships
  • Some­times that last drink is on the house
  • I want to chase all the angst away and leave you with noth­ing but hap­py and quirky
  • Pock­et change can change the world
  • My boots aren’t made for every­thing

Daily List for: 1/21/2015

  • I’m at the age where nachos after 9 PM are topped with melt­ed cheese, jalapeno and regret
  • Nasty is the new naughty
  • Oppor­tu­ni­ty isn’t always obvi­ous
  • If you don’t ask the ques­tion, it real­ly doesn’t mat­ter what the answer is
  • Some­times lust clouds judge­ment
  • When hangry, go for the peanut but­ter cups
  • Stress can cause you to skip meals, it can also cause you to binge eat, that’s why stress is a sadis­tic ass­hat
  • The ‘Got your nose’ game, is not a big hit in the lep­rosy ward
  • I want to crowd­source a flash mob of kick­starters to start kick­ing crowds of mob­sters
  • I spend every wak­ing moment dream­ing about the next time I’ll see you
  • If any of these made you smile (or think), pass the smile along, please share this post with your friends
  • Intro­spec­tion is free, ther­a­py is billed in 45 minute incre­ments

Daily List for: 5/4/2015

  • Annoy­ance is not exclu­sive­ly a human emo­tion, I type this as an annoyed cat won­ders why I’m not pet­ting her
  • Com­men­tat­ing ruins sports even more than sports ruins sports
  • I’ve decid­ed to get the word ‘NO!’ tattoo’d on the back of my left hand, at least then I’d have a con­stant reminder that the word exists
  • I read that week­night bowl­ing leagues are the new ‘swing­ing’ meet­ing place, like I’d jump in bed with any­one who would wear rent­ed shoes..eww
  • I have an idea for a ‘Crim­i­nal Minds’ drink­ing game, every time they use the word ‘unsub’ you turn the TV off and go get a drink
  • Trust me, said no one you actu­al­ly should
  • If you told me you were unhap­py I could have done some­thing about it, but you silence said noth­ing
  • I don’t need assis­tance, I’m just pro­cras­ti­nat­ing for a while and lat­er I’ll spend the day regret­ting it
  • If I didn’t beat myself up about every­thing what would I do with my days?
  • A pint of ice cream can be a sin­gle serv­ing with the prop­er spoon and the right moti­va­tion

Daily List for: 2/8/2015

  • Some­times you’re afraid of heights, almost nev­er widths
  • I’m a live nerve
  • One per­sons notes is another’s jour­nal­ing
  • Con­trac­tu­al sex is bind­ing, but only if it’s done right
  • Good peanut but­ter regard­less of how hard it hits the gym will always be chunky
  • Span­ish yoga is sleep­ing
  • Plung­ing neck­lines nev­er actu­al­ly hit the floor
  • New friends are bet­ter than old acquain­tances
  • A giant bowl of deca­dent choco­late cream make any­thing instant­ly dessert, it’s also why I usu­al­ly have a spoon in my bag
  • Laugh­ter might not actu­al­ly be med­i­cine but it does make you feel bet­ter
  • Sexy nev­er goes out of style, and it’s more about con­fi­dence than any­thing else
  • I want to own prop­er­ty with you, I’m just not sure where yet
  • Some­times a shared vil­lan makes rel­a­tive strangers into close friends
  • A cold beer, a warm smile, a hot oven, and stir­ring con­ver­sa­tion makes a recipe for a fun night
  • GPS has saved more rela­tion­ships than Via­gra

Daily List for: 1/27/2015

Notes 1/27/2015

  • Cats are the gate­keep­ers of warmth
  • If dying required paper­work to be com­plet­ed, I’m con­fi­dent I’ll live for­ev­er.
  • Not all weath­er­proof boots are water­proof
  • If at first you don’t suc­ceed, don’t whine about it, nobody cares
  • You show your love for me in the most mun­dane ways, and I appre­ci­ate every one of them
  • Ask­ing for help isn’t a sign of weak­ness, suf­fer­ing in silence is.
  • Friends are hap­py to hear from you at three in the morn­ing
  • Not all guys in bands are sen­si­tive
  • Rice cakes are a POOR sub­sti­tute for rye toast
  • Much like rust, entre­pre­neurs nev­er sleep
  • Bak­ers are sexy, and kneedy

Daily List for: 1/20/2015

  • Plea­sure comes from unusu­al places
  • Liquor, pok­er and hol­dem
  • Mind, body, spir­its
  • Lis­ten­ing is the answer to most rela­tion­ship ques­tions
  • Oil it
  • Right now is all about you and I, noth­ing else exists beyond our small bub­ble of pas­sion
  • Laugh­ter, desire, doo­dles, wine and bread
  • Any­one who says laugh­ter and sex don’t go togeth­er, prob­a­bly not much fun in bed

Daily List for: 5/1/2015

  • Hid­den in plain sight, mock­ing my inabil­i­ty to see what’s right in front of my face
  • Most morn­ing the words flow like fresh cof­fee, oth­er morn­ings that cof­fee is mud
  • It real­ly didn’t feel like exces­sive speed, it felt like jus­ti­fied speed
  • The lit­tle cups make my cof­fee seem huge, and my hands ginor­mous
  • Sil­ly put­ty can bring a strong man to tears
  • At night the rules don’t apply, the dark hides a mul­ti­tude of sins
  • Fol­low your arrow

Daily List for: 2/7/2015

  • Sim­ple is ele­gant, peo­ple need to learn to appre­ci­ate sim­ple
  • Instant grat­i­fi­ca­tion is fleet­ing, LIKE imme­di­ate­ly if you agree
  • Tick­lish is the dou­ble-joint­ed
  • Jel­ly is the unsung hero in a PB&J, It’s day will come
  • One of the chop­sticks needs to be pointy so you can shiv the pot­stick­ers
  • I’ve been dealt the Ace of hearts and I’m dou­bling-down on her
  • Hand­shakes are dirt­i­er than a nice snog
  • I live in a wool and cable-knit jun­gle
  • Bak­ing is 57% knowl­edge, 33% tech­nique and 10% good for­tune
  • Don’t hide the curves, accen­tu­ate them
  • Nuts in the shell are the ulti­mate health food — each has a lit­tle manda­to­ry work­out attached
  • It’s mag­ic when you find that per­son who checks all your box­es, my box­es are checked in sharpie
  • Peo­ple are clay, soci­ety is the wheel

Daily List for: 1/19/2015

  • Most days I want a big glass of the life, oth­er days a shot is plen­ty
  • Moti­vat­ed by love, dri­ven by lust
  • Peo­ple can be both Cana­di­an and Jew­ish
  • Skuzzy wash­es off, but skanky requires repeat­ed scrub­bing
  • You are the first per­son I think of every morn­ing and the last per­son I think every night, and in between, you’re what I dream about

Daily List for: 2/6/2015

  • Plaid is this years black
  • A tes­ta­ment to the qual­i­ty of piz­za is how good it is the next day eat­en cold, very good piz­za is actu­al­ly bet­ter cold
  • Nev­er don’t try, the worst case sce­nario is you fail, try­ing and fail­ing is admirable, nev­er try­ing because you’re afraid you’ll fail is pathet­ic
  • Ner­vous excite­ment is per­son­al plu­to­ni­um
  • At $1.95 a gal­lon for reg­u­lar, I’ll low­er my back win­dows, please fill the back seat with reg­u­lar
  • It took 5 days for my new, much larg­er phone, to feel exact­ly like the old small­er phone, but after 7 years I climb in my big SUV and miss my small SUV, odd
  • I apol­o­gize in advance for every regret­table word, every hor­rid thought, for­ev­er I’ll be apol­o­giz­ing
  • Every now and then I need to get in the car and go 120mph, not for very long, but for a while, last night was one of those nights
  • I enjoyed watch­ing you take pic­tures of the menu last night and zoom it to read — just because you for­got your glass­es, that was adorable and clever
  • First Date Favorites: Board­walk Food: Caramel Corn, Casi­no Game: Video Pok­er, Per­fume: Hap­py, Guilty Plea­sure Movie: ConAir
  • Goat cheese and beets is the new Cook­ies and Cream

Daily List for: 2/5/2015

  • Words that need to go away: Bespoke, Jawn, Irre­gard­less, Bae
  • There is, in fact, more than a sin­gle pot for every lid
  • Pas­sion is the new fruit
  • The next best thing to old friends, is new friends, close­ly fol­lowed by those friends you have yet to meet
  • Make a goal, achieve that goal, don’t bitch about all the stuff in between
  • Gym obser­va­tion: Lit­tle yoga girls are STRONG and seem­ing­ly do not per­spire, per­haps they are robots
  • When I close my eyes and pic­ture us togeth­er in 25 years I see noth­ing but sun­shine and hap­pi­ness
  • Friends that you haven’t talked too in months and/or years that when you do, it seems like you just did, I love that
  • Some movies have secret mes­sages in them, just for me
  • If THAT is what squats do to a body, squats should be manda­to­ry to but Dori­tos

Daily List for: 4/7/2015

  • You’d hate a mile in my shoes, you’ll feel every bump, stum­ble on every crack
  • Cof­fee is a cream deliv­ery sys­tem, much like pret­zels are a method to eat mus­tard with­out look­ing fool­ish
  • I’m com­pul­sive with­out being obses­sive
  • Good soft­ware is exceed­ing­ly rare, and what makes it good is what it doesn’t do as much as what it does do
  • Peo­ple spend entire­ly too much time defin­ing sex­u­al­i­ty, I think those are the same peo­ple who are lying about their own
  • Some non-choco­late eggs are albi­no
  • The only place you can get to by your­self is nowhere you want to be
  • Mod­er­a­tion is an option when exces­sive­ness fails you
  • Sim­ple math is worth triple check­ing
  • Why are we teach­ing cal­cu­lus before we teach how to bal­ance a check­book, or how to make your­self a healthy break­fast
  • Peo­ple need to learn to be open about what makes them weird
  • Dark glass­es and head­phones don’t deter Gap sales­peo­ple, most oth­er sales peo­ple get the mes­sage
  • I love that the Star­buck barista blush­es when I ask her to leave room in my cof­fee for a fist of cream
  • Exper­i­men­ta­tion is about fail­ure, you don’t learn from suc­cess
  • Hav­ing peo­ple is the key, took me 3 decades to real­ize that

Daily List for: 2/4/2015

  • When in doubt, slight smile, eye con­tact and a firm hand­shake
  • I don’t actu­al­ly care what hap­pens in your bed­room, that’s your busi­ness, unless you’re invit­ing me in, then I need details so I know how to dress
  • First Date Favorites; cof­fee: light roast, black, adult bev­er­ages: Gen­tle­man Jack, pie: pump­kin pie
  • I respect any­one who finds com­fort and answers in faith, I also respect those who don’t, it’s real­ly nobod­ies busi­ness which group I belong to
  • I was so relieved to learn that duck sauce con­tained no actu­al ducks
  • Over­sleep­ing is the Jor­dan Almond in the whit­mans sam­pler of pro­duc­tiv­i­ty
  • You have noth­ing to be self con­scious about, every­thing that makes you dif­fer­ent, makes you unique, embrace unique

Daily List for: 4/6/2015

  • You can’t enjoy the ups with­out suf­fer­ing the downs, it’s just the way it is
  • The ride, ends, have your return tick­et ready
  • laugh­ter, hops, fil­tered water and a qual­i­ty nosh
  • It may be ugly, but it tastes good
  • Play­ing a lying game with your spouse of near­ly 30 years and com­plete­ly fool­ing each oth­er every round, hilar­i­ous
  • Real­ly? no eat­ing in the car? How long do you hon­est­ly expect that to last
  • I didn’t say I didn’t like the blouse, I said I think it’s designed to be worn over some­thing, per­son­al­ly that makes me like it more
  • First Date Favorites; Soup: Beef Pho, Appe­tiz­ers: Pigs in a Blan­ket, Sal­ad: Chick­en Cae­sar (with anchovies), Mor­tal Kom­bat Com­bat­ant: Sonya Blade
  • I’d rather be warm than safe
  • It’s not in my abil­i­ty to ignore some­thing that’s both­er­ing me
  • Any­time, Any­where that’s where I’ll meet you, ( 1942 in war-ton Moroc­co, pour me a drink, I’ll be there )
  • I’m not afraid of any­thing but los­ing you, that ter­ri­fies me

Daily List for: 2/3/2015

  • Nobody promised you hap­pi­ness or suc­cess, fight for it, scratch, claw, climb earn your hap­pi­ness through sweat and hard work
  • Reward your­self, take your­self on a me date every now and then
  • I can think of no one I’d rather grow old with than you, every wrin­kle is a sto­ry, every gray hair a chap­ter in our lives
  • Pet peeve: When peo­ple assume that the odds on flip­ping a coin, or rolling dice, ever change, irre­gard­less of what the pre­vi­ous result was, the odds nev­er change
  • Favorite sound: Trains in the dis­tance
  • Break­fast for din­ner equals Brin­ner, and it’s the great­est thing ever, Brin­ner is 2.6% bet­ter than Brunch, and it’s supe­ri­or­i­ty over the poor­ly con­ceived Lun­ner is immea­sur­able.
  • Hav­ing you by my side makes me feel like I can accom­plish any­thing

Daily List for: 2/2/2015

  • Every­day is a reboot
  • Some­days the storm rolls in with­out warn­ing
  • If you could see your­self through my eyes you’d real­ize how aston­ish­ing­ly beau­ti­ful you tru­ly are
  • Sil­ly is the new mature
  • I’d hap­pi­ly trade gold for laugh­ter, laugh­ter is lighter
  • When goats dine with ducks, the goats bring the kids, but the ducks deal with the bill
  • Any­thing worth cry­ing about is worth talk­ing about
  • Did the Jus­tice League of Amer­i­ca have a kitchen? If so, who cooked? What was their spe­cial­ty?
  • First-Date Favorites; smell: hazel­nut, col­or: ver­mil­lion, bond-film: Live and Let Die, yogurt: black-cher­ry, item-of-cloth­ing: a pullover hood­ie, fash­ion acces­so­ry: my thin chain­maile bracelet, activ­i­ty: kiss­ing
  • Fact: I’m phys­i­cal­ly a morn­ing per­son, and men­tal­ly a night owl
  • If con­sumers learned to do some sim­ple math while gro­cery shop­ping, we’d prob­a­bly have bet­ter pric­ing, smarter con­sumers and more super­mar­ket fires