List for: 07.15.2015

  • Life’s not always a gen­tle caress, some­times it’s a slap in the face
  • Some­times things just hap­pen, no rea­son, don’t get twist­ed when it does
  • Stu­pid­i­ty hap­pens to every­one, bet­ter to laugh about it, than make it a habit
  • Chron­ic injuries SUCK
  • Morn­ing naps aren’t always a thing, but this morn­ing is the excep­tion
  • I see mud in my future, lots and lots of mud
  • There will always be some­thing creepy about day­time thun­der­storms
  • Exhaust­ed is the new enthu­si­ased

List for: 02.24.15

  • Nev­er call the bluff of some­one with noth­ing left to loose.
  • Nev­er bet mon­ey you don’t have in your pock­et.
  • When you win mon­ey, unless you’re sober, put it away
  • Restraint is sexy
  • Don’t play games you don’t under­stand
  • Nev­er play cards with some­one wear­ing a pinky ring, or who has a nick­name based on a drink, a city or a sex act

List for: 04.05.13

  • Hap­py East­er
  • I like peanut but­ter eggs, I’m not sure what lays them
  • You can’t sneak up on the East­er bun­ny because he ears you com­ing
  • Peeps are bet­ter stale
  • True Peeps are yel­low, all the oth­er peeps, posers, yes I’m a peep racist
  • It’s baf­fling that the smart peo­ple at Reece’s don’t real­ize that all the oth­er sized ‘Peanut But­ter Cups’ taste noth­ing like the full sized ones
  • The only TRUE way to eat peanut but­ter (or Nutel­la) is with a spoon (or your fin­gers if you’ve washed your hands), hid­ing
  • Jel­ly beans do not sprout into jel­ly trees