Daily List for: 5/1/2015

  • Hid­den in plain sight, mock­ing my inabil­i­ty to see what’s right in front of my face
  • Most morn­ing the words flow like fresh cof­fee, oth­er morn­ings that cof­fee is mud
  • It real­ly didn’t feel like exces­sive speed, it felt like jus­ti­fied speed
  • The lit­tle cups make my cof­fee seem huge, and my hands ginor­mous
  • Sil­ly put­ty can bring a strong man to tears
  • At night the rules don’t apply, the dark hides a mul­ti­tude of sins
  • Fol­low your arrow

Daily List for: 2/7/2015

  • Sim­ple is ele­gant, peo­ple need to learn to appre­ci­ate sim­ple
  • Instant grat­i­fi­ca­tion is fleet­ing, LIKE imme­di­ate­ly if you agree
  • Tick­lish is the dou­ble-joint­ed
  • Jel­ly is the unsung hero in a PB&J, It’s day will come
  • One of the chop­sticks needs to be pointy so you can shiv the pot­stick­ers
  • I’ve been dealt the Ace of hearts and I’m dou­bling-down on her
  • Hand­shakes are dirt­i­er than a nice snog
  • I live in a wool and cable-knit jun­gle
  • Bak­ing is 57% knowl­edge, 33% tech­nique and 10% good for­tune
  • Don’t hide the curves, accen­tu­ate them
  • Nuts in the shell are the ulti­mate health food — each has a lit­tle manda­to­ry work­out attached
  • It’s mag­ic when you find that per­son who checks all your box­es, my box­es are checked in sharpie
  • Peo­ple are clay, soci­ety is the wheel

Daily List for: 3/23/2015

  • It’s impor­tant to know what real­ly both­ers you, per­son­al­ly I can’t sleep know­ing there are dirty dish­es in my sink, what’s yours?
  • First Date Favorites; Din­er Meal: grilled cheese sand­wich, toma­to soup, french fries with brown gravy and a black and white milk­shake
  • Con­fes­sion: I strong­ly dis­like mashed pota­toes
  • It’s not a real road trip until I have a hon­ey­bun (and yes I know it’s tox­ic)
  • I like the way you flip my pan­cake
  • If I taught grade school math every­day would be a field trip to the super­mar­ket, that’s where all the rel­e­vant (and manip­u­la­tive) math is hap­pen­ing
  • I’m begin­ning to real­ize noth­ing on TV is worth watch­ing, can I get a refund?
  • Skills that I (might) still have, I nev­er use: Throw­ing an inside out curve with a Wif­fle ball, Draw­ing with my feet
  • Avoid con­ve­nience, embrace the craft of doing it your­self
  • Effort is reward­ed
  • The way to a woman’s heart is her feet

Daily List for: 4/9/2015

  • I’m pret­ty sure it’s the uncer­tain­ty that kills me
  • the time between some weeks feels like months
  • At least if I had a but­ler I’d have cof­fee right now
  • Ran­dom Famous Peo­ple I respect; Mar­garet Cho, Teller, David Chang, Nina Hart­ley, Pablo Picas­so, Ogden Nash
  • I feel noth­ing… and every­thing… but most­ly noth­ing, but all of it
  • My brain has one of those zip-cords like 1970s Ken­ner SSP Drag­sters, I just mis­placed the zip-cord
  • I pre­fer my fries waf­fle, shoe­string, or curly, nev­er crin­kle cut, and if you’re going to serve me steak fries, there best also be steak (medi­um rare please)
  • Actu­al­ly the rhythm isn’t get­ting me

Daily List for: 3/22/2015

  • Lust comes in many fla­vors, every­thing from blue to pink
  • I don’t think any of the sev­en sins are par­tic­u­lar­ly dead­ly
  • Not every­one can con­vinc­ing­ly wear sparkles
  • Enchi­ladas must be Span­ish for ‘high­ly addic­tive’
  • You may also eat with your eyes, but it’s my mouth that has all the fun
  • Spicy choco­late cook­ies are the new ‘nil­la wafers
  • Even­tu­al­ly every evening gets to the point were the lady folks start com­par­ing boobs
  • Unlucky at cards… there’s no more to this one, some peo­ple just are unlucky at cards
  • San­gria is prac­ti­cal­ly health food
  • Some host­esses have the most­esses
  • Ther­mal­ly we’re per­fect­ly com­pat­i­ble with each oth­er
  • Every­thing is bet­ter, more fun, more sat­is­fy­ing smoth­ered in que­so
  • The small­er the room, the more con­cen­trat­ed the fun
  • Gua­camole is the mor­tar of life
  • Civ­i­lized cats live in civ­i­lized hous­es
  • Some­times good things result from trag­ic events, con­cen­trate of the result
  • Vig­or­ous­ly Shak­en not stirred, if for no oth­er rea­son, much more fun to watch

Daily List for: 1/17/2015

  • If you live a tragedy long enough, any­thing, regard­less of how trag­ic it is, feels nor­mal
  • Emo­tion­al­ly shut­down, phys­i­cal­ly shut­off, psy­cho­log­i­cal­ly locked out
  • This sim­pati­co feels famil­iar
  • Pro­found­ly bro­ken is the new nor­mal
  • Long after looks fade, fun­ny & smart endure
  • Hydra­tion is a flu­id con­cept
  • Your laugh­ter is my flint
  • A real friend is some­one who doesn’t just know were all your skele­tons are buried, but has helped you bury a few

Daily List for: 4/8/2015

  • There are going to be days when noth­ing your going to do are going to make me smile, those are the days I need you the most
  • That’s a moun­tain I prob­a­bly won’t climb
  • Cre­ativ­i­ty is a fick­le bitch
  • Qui­et is on con­stant repeat in my head
  • You are one of the few things in my life I haven’t come to regret
  • I love that we can laugh hys­ter­i­cal­ly about noth­ing
  • If I’d real­ized I was going to live through the 80s, I would have tak­en bet­ter care of myself
  • I’m not dri­ving the car, which is fine, it’s dri­ving itself
  • I mix my metaphors like I mix my drinks, a hard shake
  • Every­one is cre­ative and fun­ny until their fam­i­lies, the edu­ca­tion­al sys­tem, and soci­ety, squash the joy
  • Per­haps the two lessons schools should be teach­ing are the dif­fer­ences between infa­mous, and famous, and that the inter­net isn’t real life even though at time it seems it is.
  • Sum­mer can’t get here soon enough, I’m cold
  • I think I want to go to burn­ing man next year, it sounds sooo warm
  • Bread is as much fun to make, as it is to eat

Daily List for: 2/18/2015

  • Hap­pi­ness is a warm cat
  • Turn­ing 50 means your doc­tor and all the nurs­es have the green light to start mak­ing colonoscopy jokes, they amuse no one
  • Bad piz­za is the sad­dest food group
  • A strong beer makes the worst craft, almost tol­er­a­ble
  • Cold weath­er is penance for hav­ing four sea­sons
  • Some­days choco­late is the high­light
  • Tele­vi­sion is far more enter­tain­ing after a shot of NyQuil
  • Some­times that deli­cious look­ing dessert isn’t
  • Unde­sir­able is the new invis­i­ble

Daily List for: 1/16/2015

  • Beau­ty lies in those moments when no one is watch­ing
  • Let me wrap you in a quilt of safe­ty, bright­ness and warmth
  • The heat from your pas­sion melts the cold­est part of me
  • Before you, there was no one
  • Regret is the foun­da­tion that sad­ness is built
  • Amnesty pro­vides faith to the faith­less
  • The best part of me is you
  • Date night is every night
  • Pet­ting equals purring
  • Nobody wears self-con­scious­ness well
  • The you that you are at your absolute worst, is the you that I love

Daily List for: 2/12/2015

  • Next time some­one piss­es you off, or dis­re­spects you, rather than let­ting it ruin your day, turn that frus­tra­tion inside out and do some­thing nice for some­one else, let that pos­i­tive ener­gy rip­ple through the uni­verse
  • Put but­ter on it, live a lit­tle
  • I don’t need a hol­i­day to tell me to love some­one, but choco­late I’ll take
  • Red wine before nine is fine
  • See past the frus­tra­tion to the reward
  • 99.9% of the time I’d rather kiss your face than shake your hand, I have no idea where your hands have been
  • Twice the care, four times the love, cracked black pep­per

Daily List for: 1/15/2015

  • We don’t need to talk, we can just be
  • Every­day is an oppor­tu­ni­ty to make a fresh start
  • There’s far too many forks on this table for a burg­er joint
  • I’m the gaper caus­ing the delay
  • Some­times NO is the best YES
  • Show me your sins, and I’ll show you mine
  • I’m total­ly danc­ing on the inside
  • I know Shaki­ra, at least on a cel­lu­lar lev­el
  • I want to wear you like wet wool
  • Amnesty pro­vides faith to the faith­less
  • Hon­esty is free­dom
  • Noth­ing is sex­i­er than a woman who isn’t con­cerned with my def­i­n­i­tion of sexy
  • I want a full glass of life, you start pour­ing, I’ll say when
  • My per­son­al hell is silent and cold
  • After so much time, it’s hard to accept any truth but the one you’ve assumed was true
  • Laugh­ter isn’t the only thing that’s infec­tious, but it is the most fun

Daily List for: 2/11/2015

  • Tempt me with words, mes­mer­ize me with actions
  • You lost me at the spork in the road
  • Noth­ing is sex­i­er than smart
  • IMHO Every­day can be improved by a view of the ocean, and sand between your toes
  • Some oppor­tu­ni­ties are best avoid­ed
  • Some­where out there is a for­tune cook­ie writer job, just for me
  • Headaches are the new hang­nail
  • He’s a bit of a dandy, wrapped in last sea­sons fash­ions, traips­ing around Man­hat­tan with this sea­sons mis­take
  • They entered into the deal will­ing­ly, old friends in busi­ness togeth­er; each con­tribut­ing ideas and time, although they gained wealth, noto­ri­ety and fame, they lost respect for each oth­er, which in the end, was some­thing their new mon­ey couldn’t replace
  • One pill makes you larg­er, and one pill makes you Saul
  • I know why I’m with you, I’m not sure I’ll ever under­stand why you’re with me

Daily List for: 1/14/2015

  • Ride the wave until it hits the beach
  • I’ll say I’m sor­ry every­day and I’ll nev­er stop mean­ing it
  • Some­days hap­pi­ness is an unob­tain­able goal
  • Every­day is an oppor­tu­ni­ty to make a fresh start
  • There’s far too many forks on this table for a burg­er joint
  • I don’t snack, I obsess and devour
  • Lust is my kin­dling
  • Translu­cent is the new opaque
  • I cov­et, con­stant­ly
  • What­ev­er red wine can’t fix, can stay bro­ken
  • My heart is an open book, the rest of me is closed for ren­o­va­tions
  • This sim­pati­co feels famil­iar
  • We don’t need to talk, we can just be
  • I’m eas­i­ly seduced by a well-turned phrase or a pret­ty smile
  • I actu­al­ly pre­fer dessert first, and sec­ond, and fre­quent­ly third
  • I’m the gaper caus­ing the delay
  • Nev­er buy pants alone
  • The road to hap­pi­ness is bumpy and haz­ardous
  • You’ll feel it, just go with it
  • I’d rather chug pas­sion than sip con­tent­ment
  • Love leaves last­ing marks
  • Kink is a play­ground with a height require­ment
  • Don’t nib­ble at fire, eat it with a spoon, and don’t be afraid to get a lit­tle messy with it

Con­flict­ing mod­i­fi­ca­tion on Jan­u­ary 14, 2015 at 4:49:35 AM:

  • I don’t snack, I obsess and devour
  • Lust is my kin­dling
  • Translu­cent is the new opaque
  • I cov­et, con­stant­ly
  • Some­days hap­pi­ness is an unob­tain­able goal
  • I’ll say I’m sor­ry every­day and I’ll nev­er stop mean­ing it
  • What­ev­er red wine can’t fix, can stay bro­ken
  • My heart is an open book, the rest of me is closed for ren­o­va­tions
  • I’m eas­i­ly seduced by a well-turned phrase or a pret­ty smile
  • I actu­al­ly pre­fer dessert first, and sec­ond, and fre­quent­ly third
  • Nev­er buy pants alone
  • The road to hap­pi­ness is bumpy and haz­ardous
  • Trust me, you’ll feel it

Con­flict­ing mod­i­fi­ca­tion on Jan­u­ary 14, 2015 at 4:49:35 AM:

  • I don’t snack, I obsess and devour
  • Lust is my kin­dling
  • Translu­cent is the new opaque
  • I cov­et, con­stant­ly
  • Some­days hap­pi­ness is an unob­tain­able goal
  • I’ll say I’m sor­ry every­day and I’ll nev­er stop mean­ing it
  • What­ev­er red wine can’t fix, can stay bro­ken
  • My heart is an open book, the rest of me is closed for ren­o­va­tions
  • I’m eas­i­ly seduced by a well-turned phrase or a pret­ty smile
  • I actu­al­ly pre­fer dessert first, and sec­ond, and fre­quent­ly third
  • Nev­er buy pants alone
  • The road to hap­pi­ness is bumpy and haz­ardous
  • Trust me, you’ll feel it

Daily List for: 2/10/2015

  • Imag­ine a world dri­ven by val­ue rather than prof­it
  • Stares fate in the face and laughs… as if fate exists
  • You’re my Tauntaun, and baby it’s cold out­side
  • Sleep masks aren’t suit­able for holdups
  • Holdups mean some­thing entire­ly dif­fer­ent in the U.K., They also have great, and high­ly descrip­tive words like; chuffed, knack­ered and ming­ing, all of which are far more col­or­ful than most amer­i­can words.
  • Mul­ti­task­ing: you work­ing half as hard, on twice as much, result­ing in noth­ing
  • Friends are peo­ple you reg­u­lar­ly lose sleep talk­ing with about noth­ing in par­tic­u­lar
  • She’s up all night to the sun, I’m chang­ing the radio sta­tion
  • Every­day can be improved by a view of the ocean, and sand between your toes
  • First Date Fact: When I think of New York City — I smell burnt soft pret­zels, and when I think of Philly I smell pra­lines, Ore­gon, salt water, and I’m actu­al­ly not kid­ding — I real­ly do, I sus­pect that’s not typ­i­cal.
  • Some­where between hap­py and sad lives com­e­dy
  • Every­thing seems worse in the bright lights of the big city

Daily List for: 1/13/2015

  • If I’m pay­ing 8 bucks for a smashed burg­er, I wan­na hear the cook scream “BURGER SMASH” as he pre­pares it
  • Your smile lights up the room, and the joy in your eyes illu­mi­nates the deep­est part of my soul
  • Arousal is chem­i­cal
  • I’m a free spir­it, most every­thing else is by the hour
  • Not all one way roads, go some­where
  • Any­thing worth doing, is worth teach­ing
  • Hid­ing from life is the sad­dest way to live
  • The thing about keep­ing the entire world at arms length is that nobody gets close enough to love you
  • There is noth­ing in this world as painful as the knowl­edge that you’ve dis­ap­point­ed a friend
  • I’ll hold you up, I’ll pick you up, I’ll prop you up, I’ll sing you prais­es from the high­est rooftops, you are the world to me, and your hap­pi­ness is my oxy­gen

Daily List for: 1/12/2015

  • Too much of a good thing is a require­ment
  • Anx­i­ety is the new dark gray
  • Every­one needs some­one they can call/text/nudge at 3am
  • I can’t tell a shire from a vil­lage
  • I’m most like­ly wrong in my assump­tion that the Irish don’t like tea
  • Desire is my drug
  • I have dish­es that aren’t dish­wash­er safe, I put them in the dish­wash­er any­how, I hate play­ing it safe
  • Patience is still hard, I’m unsuc­cess­ful­ly wait­ing for that to stop being the case
  • The path to hap­pi­ness is paved with mis­takes you made, and even­tu­al­ly owned
  • We should all just leave all judg­ing to Judy
  • I’d soon­er give you my spleen than my phone
  • I am mag­ne­sium

Daily List for: 1/11/2015

  • Dogs like groins
  • The edi­ble sand is just col­ored sug­ar
  • A home­made gift made from the heart, instant­ly cher­ished
  • Qui­et is the new loud
  • I am in fact a fix­er-upper and chances are, attic needs ren­o­va­tions.
  • wait­ing is hard, patience is too
  • I’d fol­low you into the dark
  • It typ­i­cal­ly runs both fast and hot
  • cook­ies can be dessert
  • If alco­hol is the wide­ly accept­ed social lubri­cant, lube me up
  • Noth­ing isn’t sacred, to some­one
  • Some con­ver­sa­tions unfold grad­u­al­ly, oth­ers crash to the floor
  • Cat­nip comes in many fla­vors

Daily List for: 1/10/2015

  • A lit­tle hug can go a long way
  • There is no such thing as too much fun
  • Awk­ward is the new black
  • I can draw a bath, I can draw con­clu­sions, but frogs, that I can­not draw
  • Some bot­tles have screw-tops
  • Chil­dren gen­er­ate ener­gy, and smiles
  • Part­ners are the key, hap­pi­ness is the lock
  • Brown­ies and Nutel­la are the ulti­mate fin­ger food
  • Chi­anti goes with Lasagna
  • Draw a line, I’ll cross it
  • Wine, wine, wine, wine, wine
  • Tiny patch­es of ice are a haz­ard
  • Siri always knows the way home

Daily List for: 1/07/2015 – 1

  • Snow sucks
  • Doing the wrong thing for the right rea­son, doesn’t make it right
  • Pineap­ple Juice and seltzer isn’t a thing
  • Cats are not gold­fish, they remem­ber
  • Some things that are bro­ken, always have been
  • Client Email is actu­al­ly the 8th ring of hell
  • IMHO gum­mi worms are the finest crea­ture of the gum­mi king­dom

Daily List for: 1/26/2015

  • Stress is the killer of joy
  • There are very few foods that Sriracha can’t improve
  • Soft spo­ken is the new loud
  • Trenta is big­ger than Ven­ti
  • Curb your dog, and your tem­per — keep the city clean and smil­ing
  • Life with­out chal­lenges isn’t worth liv­ing
  • The warmth from your smile warms the cold­est part of me
  • Cats are the gate­keep­ers of warmth
  • If dying required paper­work to be com­plet­ed, I’m con­fi­dent I’ll live for­ev­er.
  • Ore­gon + Ida­ho = Ore Ida
  • Love knows no math, the­ol­o­gy, or col­or
  • Snow is the ene­my of Mon­days