Daily List for: 4/14/2015

A con­ver­sa­tion about ants with my cat Maxx:

Maxx: Hey, hate to tell you this we have ants, I know you hate them, but regard­less, got them.
Saul: NO!, I HATE ants, I haven’t seen any ants, how do you know we have them?
Maxx: I’m a cat, I’m plugged into the uni­verse at a lev­el you wouldn’t even begin to under­stand, oh and Piper texted me ‘We have ants!, tell what­shis­name’, I’m assum­ing she means you.
Saul: Damn!, Piper is almost nev­er wrong, have you con­firmed that we have ants?
Maxx: I just walked through the kitchen and didn’t hear ants, that’s all the con­fir­ma­tion I need
Saul: But you didn’t hear any­thing
Maxx: Ants are sneaky qui­et, in the hier­ar­chy of qui­et it’s; cats, ninjas,Sasquatch,ants
Saul: Wow qui­eter than Sasquatch, that is qui­et
Maxx: Yep, the sim­ple fact that I heard noth­ing is a 83% con­fir­ma­tion, we’re lousy with ants
Saul: You’re a a-list preda­tor can you do any­thing about the ants? maybe squash them?
Maxx: They’ve done noth­ing to me
Saul: I guess squash­ing them is a bit extreme, do you have any good news for me?
Maxx: Well you don’t have nin­jas… I think

Daily List for: 4/15/2015

  • I’ll actu­al­ly take extras on; gluten, msg and the rubel­la vac­cine
  • That extra hour of sleep you get after your snoozes stop, that’s the for­bid­den sleep, and it is deli­cious
  • I want to kiss that beer off your lips not real­ly as a sign of affec­tion or desire, my glass is just emp­ty
  • Qual­i­ty mat­ters when dis­cussing olive oil, bread, foun­tain pens and choco­late
  • I’m a fan of Granny Smith
  • I’m skep­ti­cal of any artists who fills their walls with their own art
  • If elect­ed I shall drink all the wine both for­eign and domes­tic
  • A smile goes a long way, but a thank you and a gen­er­ous tip goes fur­ther
  • More peo­ple than I real­ize actu­al­ly read these notes, you’re wel­come to share them, encour­age peo­ple to fol­low and friend me, all friends start out as strangers
  • Every­day starts out with a walk through the dark­ness
  • Desire is lust enrobed in some­thing sweet and sticky

Daily List for: 4/16/2015

  • Maybe because I’m a movie buff, maybe because I live N.J. adja­cent, the phras­es ‘a friend of ours’ and ‘we have mutu­al inter­ests’ always makes me won­der if I’m about to be wacked
  • There’s no such thing as ‘too much rice’
  • I iden­ti­fy with Toto
  • Restau­rants frown on patrons bring­ing their own bread
  • Being in the weeds sucks, unless you’re an arborist
  • I have a grade school sense of humor wrapped in a ivy-league vocab­u­lary
  • Accord­ing to Sting you can turn a mur­der into art, I won­der who he killed?
  • Gen­er­al­iz­ing makes every­one sound stu­pid
  • I offered a Swedish fish to Maxx, not impressed, he also thinks Swedish fish­er­man have very easy jobs, and a strong incli­na­tion towards obe­si­ty, which is dan­ger­ous, if not dead­ly, yet the Dis­cov­ery chan­nel has, as of yet, ignored them, Maxx is a thinker.
  • Some­times I say yes when I prob­a­bly should say noth­ing

Daily List for: 4/17/2015

  • I love lis­ten­ing to peo­ple talk while they shop, I lis­tened to two women dis­cuss Accent sea­son­ing — claim­ing that it was a chem­i­cal addi­tive, and that they were both (amaz­ing­ly) aller­gic to it, but in their carts were toma­toes, steak, mush­rooms and straw­ber­ry quik (mmm, that sounds good)
  • Any­one who thinks that any­thing they do online is 100% safe or pri­vate, needs to rethink what they do online
  • I’ll have no issues sit­ting at a table near the kitchen if you have no issues me going in and prepar­ing my own food
  • The best thing about work­ing alone is the silence, strange­ly that’s also the worst
  • First Date Favorites; Tra­di­tion­al Car­toon Char­ac­ter: Daffy Duck, Super­hero: Gleek (Zan & Jayna’s Mon­key), Newish Car­toon Char­ac­ter: Pinky
  • I’m not sure if I love black licorice because I love black licorice, or because by eat­ing it there’s a sta­tis­ti­cal like­li­hood that I won’t have to share it
  • I nev­er met left­overs I didn’t like
  • Any­thing worth doing is worth under­stand­ing ful­ly
  • If you feel no guilt in not pay­ing me in a time­ly man­ner, I feel no guilt in turn­ing off your ser­vices with min­i­mal warn­ing
  • Whipped in the new beat­en

Daily List for: 4/18/2015

A con­ver­sa­tion with Maxx about math

Saul: Maxx don’t both­er me I’m bak­ing
Maxx: You just made a mis­take, you might want to recheck your mea­sure­ments
Saul: Maxx you’re a cat what do you do know about mea­sure­ments?
Maxx: mea­sure­ments are math kin­da right? So, cats are nat­u­ral­ly gift­ed at math, how do you not know that?
Saul: I had no idea, explain fur­ther
Maxx: You’ve heard of AP Math right?
Saul: Of course
Maxx: AP orig­i­nal­ly meant Always Purring
Saul: You’re mak­ing that up
Maxx: No, total­ly true — every cat is good at math, which caus­es smug­ness, which results in purring
Saul: I’m learn­ing so much
Maxx: Great, but you still put too much flour in that dough, and not enough sug­ar
Saul: Are you sure I dou­ble checked all my math
Maxx: which one of us is purring?
Saul: Point tak­en, do you think I should start over
Maxx: You’ll prob­a­bly be okay, worst case sce­nario is you eat those and if any­one ques­tions why you’re shov­el­ing a half dozen cin­na­mon buns in your mouth tell them you’re drunk, nobod­ies going to ques­tion that
Saul: You are a smart cat
Maxx: I can also jump from the cat tree to the pool table which is a 7 foot jump — ya know why?
Saul: Why? because cats are going jumpers?
Maxx: No because I did the math, and unlike you I did it right
Saul: Now you’re just being mean
Maxx: Remem­ber yes­ter­day when I des­per­ate­ly want­ed treats and I got no treats?
Saul: Yes
Maxx: exact­ly

Daily List for: 4/19/2015

  • It’s not just but­ter­flies that like to be free
  • A duvet cov­er is redun­dant
  • Por­tuguese wives have busy morn­ings
  • Eggs are elu­sive, regard­less of your faith
  • Nev­er under­es­ti­mate what can go wrong with a sim­ple recipe
  • Per­fect is a rea­son­able goal
  • Kit­tens are awwwww inspir­ing
  • Some­where a gui­tar is miss­ing a ‘G’ string
  • The glaze makes the fla­vor-saver glis­ten
  • Paja­mas can be work clothes
  • Wardrobe enthu­si­asm is manda­to­ry
  • French toast casse­role is the new bread pud­ding
  • The clos­er you get to the food, the hot­ter you gets

Daily List for: 4/20/2015

  • The jour­ney isn’t always enjoy­able
  • Being sup­port­ive means doing things you don’t actu­al­ly want to do
  • Small-talk can get tedious
  • I think we can all agree GPS has saved more mar­riages than Via­gra
  • Cycles cycle
  • The fruit that comes in yogurt is a pale com­par­i­son to real fruit, it’s clos­er to jel­ly, which is sad
  • Joy can be an elu­sive bitch
  • I wish I may I wish I might…
  • I real­ly want a chur­ro

Daily List for: 4/21/2015

  • Some exits have no attrac­tions
  • You’re pay­ing dou­ble for the mice
  • Some­times Kore­an food is the only food you need
  • Pas­sen­ger­ing is seri­ous busi­ness
  • Piz­za fla­vored gold­fish aren’t
  • Sud­den­ly police cars appear
  • Boom goes the dyna­mite
  • All roads appear to lead to Dol­ly­wood
  • South­ern hos­pi­tal­i­ty ends at the thresh­old of the Super 8
  • Rain wash­es away all forms of regret
  • In Ten­nessee you can buy both fire­works & moon­shine road­side
  • Unless you try it, you’ll nev­er actu­al­ly know if you like it
  • It’s my job to look for smokey

Daily List for: 4/22/2015

  • You want to believe that the per­son you have help­ing you has your best inter­est in mind, but so very often you’re wear­ing that belief inside out
  • Some­times (espe­cial­ly in Ten­nessee) there is actu­al­ly no room at the inn
  • The only thing bet­ter than a fresh, just made, hot out of the oven, but­ter­milk bis­cuit, is two
  • The view of the water might makes the sha­gadel­ic decor tol­er­a­ble
  • Mutu­al appre­ci­a­tion is the key to being in the moment
  • Great ice cream is 100% about the tex­ture, and 200% about the fla­vor
  • Beau­ty is inter­nal, if your ugly inside, it takes a lot of prod­uct to keep the ugly from seep­ing through to the out­side
  • Home­sick is a thing, It takes me about 2 days to start miss­ing my bub­ble
  • Not all hotel wifi is equal, but some­time­sI get amaz­ing­ly lucky, beds, that’s anoth­er sto­ry entire­ly
  • Some­times wine stores are next door to gun ranges
  • Hon­esty is the best pol­i­cy unless you’re play­ing liars pok­er
  • Hotel call cen­ters try REAL HARD to not sound like they’re in India, but IMHO they fail spec­tac­u­lar­ly
  • The ride home always feels twice as long
    _ The first rule of Kar­ma is not to talk about Kar­ma

Daily List for: 4/29/2015

  • Go beyond your nerve, wave to your lim­i­ta­tions as you exceed them
  • What if all the mis­takes, shame and regret in our lives are the build­ing blocks for our hap­pi­ness? — Some­times a whip is required, some­times it’s just pre­ferred — Closed doors keep 100% of the peo­ple out, but a par­tial open door doesn’t

    ‪#‎thanksemi­ly­dick­in­son‬

Daily List for: 4/30/2015

  • I don’t think the berries like to be mixed
  • From order, comes french fries
  • I’m not ashamed to admit I have a head­phone obses­sion, it’s got­ten bad.
  • Dit­to with pens, note­books and seem­ing­ly bags of flour, at least I can eat those
  • I’m pow­er­less and all pow­er­ful
  • I’m lost, and I’m found
  • I’m alone, and I’m sur­round­ed by friends
  • When in doubt… Kern it tight

Daily List for: 1/18/12015

  • I work hard to sur­round myself with pos­i­tiv­i­ty, it’s sad that it actu­al­ly takes hard work.
  • Nobody wore it bet­ter
  • Love is a stren­u­ous exer­cise
  • Affec­tion is best served warm
  • Life is too short to eat con­ve­nience food
  • A best friend lends you a shoul­der to lean on, an ear when you need one, and holds your hand when every­thing around you is dark

Daily List for: 5/9/2015

  • Con­trary to what you may believe, light­ning strikes the same place, fre­quent­ly
  • I’m a suck­er for bread pud­ding, French toast or creme brûlée
  • Since get­ting old­er appears to be inevitable, I shall
  • I’m not gluten, lac­tose or sug­ar, free, I’m not veg­an, veg­e­tar­i­an or paleo, I’m mod­er­a­tion, except for choco­late — I’m pow­er­less around choco­late
  • Fifty is the new thir­ty two
  • I’m bring­ing sexy back
  • Work smart and spar­ing­ly but play hard

Daily List for: 5/12/2015

  • Log­ic and emo­tion are com­pat­i­ble, they just have to learn to give each oth­er breath­ing room
  • Silence can get mad­den­ing
  • I wake up every­day with the best of inten­tions, some­days the couch wins though
  • It’s aggra­vat­ing to get penal­ized for not repro­duc­ing
  • I’ve reached an under­stand­ing with the ducks I feed, I’ll con­tin­ue to be gen­er­ous with the frozen peas and lima beans and they’ll stop peck­ing me and refrain from crap­ping on my car
  • When the bell rings, answer it
  • Even­tu­al­ly Ben­salem will degrade to the point where I’ll have no sen­ti­men­tal attach­ment to it, that hasn’t hap­pened yet though
  • For­tune smiles on those who don’t sweat things they can’t change
  • If you’re insu­lat­ing your house you could get a expen­sive ther­mal scan of your house to find your hot and cold zones, or you could get a cat, not as accu­rate but the HVAC guy prob­a­bly doesn’t lay in your lap
  • Grapes are the new raisins

Daily List for: 5/11/2015

  • Com­fort kills as many oppor­tu­ni­ties as fear
  • Noth­ing ever gets accom­plished TOMORROW
  • Star­bucks trades you a free cof­fee for your birth­date and an email address, I can play this game all week
  • Yoga pants are the new scar­let let­ter
  • Chirp­ing birds are chirp­ing
  • Seems like every­one I know runs marathons and uses Uber these days, I think these two facts are con­nect­ed
  • What’s a lit­tle sali­va amongst friends
  • Eight bot­tles of wine may look like a lot, but there was in fact eight of us
  • Lit­tle things mean every­thing
  • Lust is desire rolled in coconut

Daily List for: 5/15/2015

  • Barter is a great form of com­merce as well as a plat­form for com­mu­ni­ca­tion, both par­ties imme­di­ate­ly iden­ti­fy what val­ue they put on the oth­ers skill/product as well as their own.
  • Some cats drink cof­fee, some drink tea
  • The pork is on a roll while the Feta crum­bles

Daily List for: 5/28/2015

  • Don’t let fear keep you from try­ing new things
  • Don’t ask ‘What’s in it?’ before you taste some­thing (exclud­ing aller­gens of course)
  • Shut up, stop whin­ing, pull up your pants, and DO
  • Awk­ward is the new charm­ing
  • Tear down metaphor­ic walls
  • Pick one of your safe(ish) vices, and give it a day — let it go crazy, let your inner indul­gences blow in the wind, but then put them away again, till the next time.
  • Scream from the rooftops
  • Define; Renapse: that peri­od of time you fall back asleep after your alarm woke you up. Usage; I real­ize I’m late for the board meet­ing I had a two hour renapse this morn­ing.

Daily List for: 5/29/2015

  • Don’t not do some­thing you want to do just because it might gar­nish you unde­sired crit­i­cism
  • Learn to embrace the Oxford com­ma, and the Yale semi­colon
  • Invite peo­ple in
  • Try to be less invis­i­ble
  • Piz­za four days in a row is not so much glut­tony as it is a high­ly-focused eat­ing sys­tem
  • Thin crust is the new kale
  • Every hour with you Is the best day ever

Daily List for: 6/1/2015

  • Some dogs are basi­cal­ly big house cats
  • Rest­less­ness is a strug­gle
  • Mo mon­ey mo pil­lows
  • Our sim­i­lar­i­ties high­light our dif­fer­ences
  • Thun­der­storms can turn mel­low into man­ic
  • Rou­tine is the key­stone upon which sleep is built
  • String­beans is yet anoth­er exam­ple of bril­liance
  • Nev­er under­es­ti­mate the effec­tive­ness of bribery
  • Here’s to hop­ing a lit­tle mud nev­er killed any­one
  • String­beans are the new cur­ren­cy
  • Everynight away from those you love makes your love that much stronger

Daily List for: 6/2/2015

  • When rain ruins your planned fun you just have to make a dif­fer­ent kind of fun
  • Irony is every­where
  • Two days in a row is a trend, three a rou­tine, five a rut
  • With a clingy dog you need not a blan­ket
  • If you get the glass REALLY clean the birds risk con­cus­sion
  • Some­times the mud isn’t mud
  • It’s tru­ly the lit­tle things that smooth the edges off the day
  • A change of every­thing for even a few days, answers months worth
    of ques­tions
  • Home roast­ed cof­fee is the anti-Star­bucks
  • Tem­porar­i­ly, wags are the new purrs